Are you that person? | The Self Esteem Builder

Are you that person?

As stated in Octobers first blog post “The narcissist – who doesn’t know someone that fits this description! We all know someone, who loves himself, or herself, and they are the best thing since sliced bread. Life in general revolves around them”.  

Let’s break that down a little further.

First, what is a narcissist – they can be described, as a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain, and selfish, as well, as a person who suffers from narcissism, gaining instant admiration of his, or her own physical, or mental attributes.

What does that really mean?

They love themselves; they would go, as far to say they think they are the best at everything. Don’t bother telling them that they are not. That is a waste of time. They have this almost delicate way of twisting everything all around so that it’s your entire fault when really it is there’s. The topic does not matter; it will all be your fault. You will be left with your head spinning and thinking how did that happen? Don’t spend too much time thinking about it. Walk away, and don’t let it bug you. For more details please visit Sept blog post 2.

Limit your time spent with them

By doing this allows you the peace that you need. It will make you a better, happier well rounded person. If you decide not to, the end result you may not like.  You end up spending time with a narcissist then slowly you will become someone you are not. You will also become less happy, and be negative.

Remember you are in control of you, and you always have the option of walking away. Being in the know, and treading carefully is always the best way to handle this sort of situation.

How to gain Self Esteem | The Self Esteem Builder

How to gain Self Esteem

Self esteem is one of those things, either we have it, or we don’t.

On a scale of one to ten how much self esteem do you have? Do you ever think to yourself how did that happen?

Before I got married I was a different person.

Or maybe you have floated through life without any at all. Then slowly you made a transition that you didn’t even realize that you did. You didn’t notice because you put your spouses, and your children’s needs ahead of yours.

There is nothing wrong with that at all. We all do. BUT, yes there is a but! We as women need to take care of number one. We set the tone of how we run our household. We can’t forget about us! We have an inner voice that needs to come out and someone needs to listen to it.

It is time to be heard!

We learn our self esteem at the young age of 11 – 15 from our Mother’s. Think back was your mom confident and happy with how she looked or was she full of self hatred? How do you think it impacted your life? What could have been done differently for you to be full of confidence?

How can you break the cycle?

How can you teach your children to be more self confident? There is no short answer. It is a process. One that you need to be committed to.

Live your best life | The Self Esteem Builder

Live your best life

We choose how to live our life, we can go through it angry, sad, and depressed, or we can go through it happy, thankful, and full of purpose.

Each day that we are here on earth, we should be thankful. We start this journey in life not knowing where, or who we are. We leave this earth, not knowing how we are going to leave. What we do have control over is how we live our life, while we are here.

We have a choice.

We can choose to be grumpy, sad, depressed, upset, or we can be happy, positive, and thankful.

We all have baggage, which creates, and molds us into who we are today. It is a part of our story. Our legacy of what we leave behind.

This baggage that we carry around day in, and day out, needs to be lightened. Most of us don't know how to release it, I know it’s hard.

We all would like to know how to release this excess baggage.

While at the airport we are checking in, and we have just found out that our bag is too heavy we need to unload some of it’s contents. What should we take out? After some thought we decide to take out the sad, grumpy, depressed, and upsets items. Now that those items are gone it leaves us free, and it’s time to start the healing process.

We still have a choice we can be thankful. We can be jealous. We can fear. We can be happy. We can be angry, or we can be sad. Which one of these do you choose?

I hope you chose being happy!

Being thankful, and happy go hand in hand.

Guide to being happy:

Live each day with purpose

Forgive

Let go of anger

Tell your family every day you love them

Give people hugs

Do things for you

Doing the above will allow us to live a much better and healthier life. Pick one thing today and do it.

By joining our circle, our sisterhood will guide each other in our healing process.

Have you forgotten how to communicate? | The Self Esteem Builder

Have you forgotten how to communicate?

We all get comfortable in our relationships. When this happened, we start to take those we love for granted. Sometimes it is on purpose, other times not so much. It can be that we just don’t pay close enough attention.

Do you give him the time and attention that he needs? Have you forgotten how? It is sometimes too easy to fall into a pattern of gliding by and not paying close enough attention, or maybe it’s that you don’t have time and you ignore them and you think “I will deal with this later, when I have time”. But then later doesn’t come, then it builds and builds until it explodes. Biting off little chunks is easier then having that huge blowout and less stressful. Talking is important.

I am going to share 2 tips that have worked for me.

Do you date your spouse? Why not? I can hear the excuses already. ‘But Stacey I don’t have the money!’ ‘I don’t have the time too.’ ‘I can’t leave my baby!’ STOP putting up the barriers from doing something for YOU!

You ARE important!

You eat dinner every night? Who says anything about going out!

Get creative!

Make dinner for the kids and when you put them to bed make a special dinner for the two of you or go grab some take out! Make it together OR even better go out for dinner! Make sure you do it monthly and schedule it in. If you don’t it a a lot less likely to happen.

Check in’s – this is where you check in every few months to see how things are going. Make sure your spouse knows they are not in trouble. This is where you talk about what you need and make adjustments to your relationship.

We are not the same people, as when we first started dating, we change, our needs change and you need to grow together. Therefore when you check in you can talk about it to see what you can do differently or things maybe perfect and you don’t need to change a thing. I suggest doing this every 3-4 months.

I know we live in a hectic world where we want everything now and finding time is hard. How do you find the time? I am so happy that you asked! Schedule it in and make the time. I find when you value something enough you make the time.

I know you value your spouse; after all you married them for a reason .

You are with your spouse for a reason. Now is the time to remember why!

Enjoy it!